![]() She told me that the biggest benefit of these monstrosities is that it actually can make a bathroom look and feel bigger. She makes her client’s New York apartments look like they aren’t located in a city that is covered in rat-piss. I needed another round of support, so I reached out to another source: a residential interior designer.Įnter Emma Lesser, a designer from design firm, Emma Beryl. After all this research it was nice to find I was on the right path but upsetting that there were so many different types of terrible. This means that your tiny dumb-door drips, just right onto the fucking ground or that you swing it into you, which I have done and you are lying if you say you have not. Her dad just called it “a whole bathroom shower.” I think he got to this from the idea of a “wet room.” But the difference is that the wet room is even worse than what I’m talking about.Ī wet room can have a half-glass door but sometimes it has no door at all! The floor area of the shower is flush to the ground so that the water drains away through an outlet set into the floor! Basically half of your bathroom is a shower! I’m livid! He was not wrong but I’m livid! The other option that exists is called a “European shower door,” these “enclosures,” as they are called over and over again on Google, are often half-glass but they’re even worse somehow, because they are on hinges and swing both in and out. My girlfriend and I eventually realized she is referencing “floating structural glass,” which is something they use in conference rooms and stairs at the hospitals and large scale buildings they design. First I asked what they’re called, to which her mom said, “structural glass floating,” which is not a thing. I started with my girlfriend’s mom and dad who happen to be an interior designer and architect, respectively. Is this just one of those things that designers love so now we all have to suffer for it? Thus, I decided to go to the source of this bullshit invention: interior designers. So, neither of these explanations are terribly compelling to me. This, I kind of understand except that baths are totally overrated, as you’re just laying in your own dirt water. People also seem to find it easier to take a luxurious bath without a second glass door in their way. Apparently people don’t like cleaning their shower so much that they think that having just half of a wall to clean once in awhile is worth all of their trash showers in between. My internet sleuthing led me to two theories: a hatred of cleaning and a love of baths. Infuriated and unconvinced that anyone would actually ask for this trash design, I decided to do some research to find out what I was missing. It was there for minimal water contact, not to be my own version of Noah’s ark. This is not what the bathmat signed up for. This is just downright mean to the bathmat. ![]() Meanwhile, all of the water that should have been on my body, keeping me warm, is now on my bathroom floor, creating a flash flood-style disaster for me to walk into post-shower. Do I want my butt to be out in the open, or do I risk it all and go full frontal? And where do I put my body when I don’t want to be directly in the line of the water? Oh I know, I’ll just stand over here, basically in the middle of the room, shivering until parts of my body fall off. The lack of a second door means that one side of me is always exposed, making me play favorites. “Hey guys, you know what’s fun? Standing naked in a giant bowl!”, said no one ever. There is exactly no reason to have them, from a consumer perspective. So many new constructions have these dumb-dumb nightmares that at times they feel like they’re inescapable, which I realized when I moved into a new apartment this month and was faced with one to shower in every day for the next year. It’s a staple of trendy hotels that you regret staying in and new apartment buildings that gentrify Brooklyn. ![]() And the worst part is that they seem to be everywhere now too. It’s called a “fixed panel seamless shower door” and it is a bullshit design invention. ![]() One side is there, ready to support you in your endeavor, and then it just ends, cemented to the shower frame but hanging in the air like half of a high five. Have you ever gone into a new bathroom, ready to shower, and been confronted with only half of a shower door, made of glass? Yeah, that’s right, I said it, half a glass door. But, unfortunately and unfairly, not all showers are created equal. Showers are one of modern life’s best creations. On a cold day, it’ll wrap around you like cashmere except, well, slippery and not at all cashmere. On a hot day, it’s better than air conditioning and popsicles. There is nothing better than a good shower. ![]()
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